My Life With IT

I feel a sense of lost. Caught in the middle of something that I could be imagining myself. I’ve been in development for close to 4 years. IT for nearly 7 years. During these years, I thought I was in love with IT and thus, continued myself in it while trying to get higher pay. Pay increment within the company is low. Everyone knows that.

However, after a while, I realised that I’m not that good, neither am I that bad in my current job scope. Just mediocre. It feels as if I’m doing it because it’s part of my job responsibilities. I seem to have lost that passion, or I didn’t have it in the first place.

I was hoping to have a change this year in terms of my job scope but unfortunately, I was rejected. After waiting for 2 months. Not that I didn’t expect it, just disappointed that they didn’t even want to consider. Can’t blame them since it has always been like that. No related certifications, not a chance at that job you would dearly love to have.

So, in other words, go be an entrepreneur or technopreneur. This part is partially joking, you won’t succeed if you don’t try again when you have failed. You need the perseverance, strength and passion to pursue this.

I’m digressing. What I’m trying to find out is that if I am selling myself short. There is this potential change in company, nothing new in my life since I have been changing within 2 years ever since I left my 1st company. It’s the same scope but with wider technologies to play with. It’s going to be expensive just working there because food will cost a lot more than what I’m paying for now.

I wanted to stay on and renew the contract for a short term at this current one as I want to build up a profile. It’s easier to stay here to build a profile since I’m familiar here. At the new place, I may not be able to build my profile since I may be doing lots of OT (not my favourite part and that was the reason why I left the other one too). This new place would have a large salary every month but I don’t know if it’s worth it.

I don’t want to sell myself short since I have more or less settled down in this current place. I don’t want to receive another call a few months down the road saying I have this offer, the one that I have been hoping to get for a long time. It’s not the 1st time that I have such calls and unable to take them up due to my short time spent at the workplace at that time.

Life, is a paradox.